Starting a family is one of the most exciting times in your life. You’re just starting out on your new life, and there is so much to look forward to. It can, at times, even feel a bit overwhelming: What should you do first? Will you have enough money? Do you know enough about raising kids yet?
Relax. These are all perfectly natural questions that every young parent has. And while you certainly shouldn’t ignore them, neither should you feel like you are out of control. The early planning stages are largely a matter of keeping organized and staying on top of things.
Getting the timing right
The first thing you should be sure of is that you time your pregnancy right. Many people want to start having kids at a particular time, so figuring out how to do it right is critical. Getting an ovulation calculator will help tremendously. With one, you can figure out precisely what your ovulation cycle will be so that your chances of conceiving at the right time are maximized.
Financial planning
A lot of your financial planning will come into play once your family starts to grow, but it doesn’t hurt to start thinking about it early. Major aspects of financial planning include:
Creating budgets. Having children isn’t cheap, so it pays to start thinking early about things like education costs, childcare, and healthcare. These costs will surely change over time with inflation, etc, but thinking about them early is still worthwhile.
Saving. Starting to think about ways to save is essential when you are starting a family. Costs will include not only education, but your own retirement, emergencies, etc.
Insurance. Getting insured when you have a family is an absolute must. And there are several different categories of insurance that you will need to think about, including home, life, car, and health insurance.
Communicating with your partner
By the time we get married, we have usually reached a certain level of openness with our spouse that enables us to talk about things freely. But it does happen that people tie the knot without sufficiently considering all their plans. It also happens that circumstances change. So it is important that you and your spouse are on the same page about child planning. This means:
Being open and honest with each other about what you want in a family, any concerns you might have, financial considerations, etc.
Trying to establish one shared vision of what your family values and goals will be like. While you might not reach 100% agreement, it would be good to have a common general idea.
Ensuring that conditions are right for communicating. You want to be sure that your overall environment is a positive and supportive one, and that you do not try to force your ideas on your spouse.
Establishing a support network
You should also be sure that you have a network of people around you that will help your kids in the ways that they need. It is one thing to have a good environment at home, but if your kids are subject to a bad atmosphere at school or in the neighborhood, it can be just as detrimental to them as having an unhealthy home life.
Even before you start having kids, try to ensure the following:
That you have a strong support network around you. This includes family, if possible, as well as friends who will be there for you when necessary, childcare providers, etc.
Share responsibility. The days of mothers being solely responsible for family matters are over. Particularly considering the fact that many wives work these days, you should feel comfortable asking other members of the family to share responsibilities with you. It is only through a strong team effort that things get done effectively.
Take time for yourself! Don’t leave your own personal self-care out. You naturally want to do the best that you can for your family, but if you don’t take time for yourself, the pressure will eventually start to weigh on you. This could mean practicing yoga, taking a class, or other things depending on your interests.
Establish long-term goals
In addition to short-term planning, you should also take the time to create long-term goals for yourself and your family. Raising kids is a long process, after all. You should start thinking about the long term early, even if you have to make adjustments along the way. This includes:
Establishing financial goals for college and retirement, and figuring out what you need to do on a monthly, yearly, etc basis to reach them
Create a schedule for your family, even if it is a rough one. This will help you stay on track
Establish family traditions, even unique ones if they suit you
Start early and be prepared for the ride
Raising a family can be a challenge. It can also be a tremendous joy. The key to staying on top of things is to start planning early. This doesn’t mean you have to have your monthly budget down to a T before you even start having children. But creating a strong vision of how you want your family to be will pay tremendous dividends in the end.